Home > Uncategorized > Social awkwardness

Social awkwardness

Hmm… Right. Back from 4 days of EFS Year Conference. I’d link you to EFS’s page here, but… And yes, I am aware that was the least exciting link you’re clicked all day 🙂

Anyhow, the conference was good, and for some reason I really enjoy working and being responsible of things even if it means I’ll barely have any free time for 4 days. It probably has something to do with being constantly stressed out, so if I have a proper excuse to be stressed on short time, I can justify not feeling crap about not doing anything related to my somewhat permanent long-term stress, which is mostly related to school.

Met a few people, but in general I just feel socially awkward in church surroundings where EVERYONE already knows each other, and if you haven’t developed some kind of deep friendship with the people who all know each other, I feel like I’m forever outside. And yes, I’m aware this is a ridiculous way of thinking about it, but hey, can’t say it’s a voluntary feeling. I mean, on some logical level I can usually tell when people like me, but there’s something about the fear of rejection that goes way beyond just girls, I think in general I am just so afraid of being that guy who is way friendlier than the other person wants/tries to be to you. Of course that too isn’t technically a bad thing to be, if no one ever takes one step further in a friendship, obviously it’s never going to go much further than good aquiantances.

In a nutshell, I love talking and being around people, and I’m not socially awkward if I’m given the confidence I need to actually feel like I’m being appreciated or taken seriously, etc. I also can’t really say I’m shy, it’s more… paranoia. There’s always a *reason* to why I won’t speak to someone, and I think I’m quicker than many less socially shy people to voice my opinion and to argue about something. But of course first I need a good reason to argue, but that’s never been the problem for me. Debating/Arguing (in a friendly manner) is my idea of a great time. Too bad not everyone feels that way.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Josh
    May 17, 2008 at 23:39


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