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Insights

January 24, 2009 Leave a comment

I have gradually abandoned blogging over the past few months in favour of keeping a diary of sorts instead, or rather the ”log book” we were told to keep last term in Bible school and during this term as well. I realized that blogging – perhaps not for everyone, but at least in part to me – encouraged an ego-praising attitude towards writing about your life, since I would go around and think about how I could write something about my life people would want to read. When I could only think of things I wanted or needed to write about that concerned me and not my writers, I would instead not write about it anywhere.

Oh well. I hope to keep using this blog to occasionally make entries with a summary of what is going on in my life, as well as being an outlet where I can write thoughts I would like to get out to others.

When I went home to Halmstad over Christmas I basically spent some online time, hung out with friends and family, and read a bit. Oh, and I watched through 4 seasons of Coupling… It didn’t entirely feel like home, though, more like a place I stayed at while I was in Halmstad with my parents. It still doesn’t feel to much like Johannelund is my home either, but I still very much like being here.

It’s interesting to note, really. From around August 2005 to August 2007 or so, I’d feel like I needed to go online to talk to my friends on TeamSpeak, MSN, Gtalk or whatnot. I couldn’t feel at peace just staying inside not talking to anyone or being available. Very soon when I moved here, I would feel the same way about the people who live around here. Being in my room or in the library too long felt boring, I would always feel like I might be missing out on what went on in the kitchen or elesewhere in the building. I need to train myself in being alone, and not constantly, actively, available to a certain group of people, be it online or the people in my vicinity.

I hope to write another entry later this week, as I have more things on my mind. But basically I’ve been given a great deal of things from God in the past few weeks, and I am learning so much, yet have so much more to learn.